The Briefly for January 14, 2019 – The “Watch the Skies for the Brown Plague” Edition

Amazon HQ2 is the city’s new ATM, Chinatown Fair gets the NY Times treatment, Cuomo wants to ban plastic bags, roll your eyes at Janeane Garofalo, and more in today’s daily NYC news digest.

This week’s overnight subway changes are minimal, but will still hit hard if you need the 7 between Queens and Manhattan or one of the other 6 lines with changes. (Subway Changes)

Janeane Garofalo: 2019’s Chris Crocker. (BrooklynVegan)

How will Mayor de Blasio pay for his $100 million health care expansion? The city and state’s latest theoretical ATM, Amazon HQ2. (NY Post)

Who is responsible for the L train shutdown fiasco? Anyone and everyone. (NY Times)

If you had to choose a coffin shaped like one NYC landmark, which would you choose? (Untapped Cities)

“You hear ‘splat’ and then you get the brown plague.” Don’t throw your dirty diapers out your apartment windows. (NY Post)

It’s a public art installation and it’s also a depressing statement about our impact on the environment. “Iceberg” is on Broadway between W37th and W 38th. (6sqft)

The 20 best happy hours in the city. (Thrillist)

The 167th St B/D station is open, including the glass mosaic “Beacons,” by artist Rico Gatson, showing off portraits of former residents of the neighborhood like Celia Cruz, Sonia Sotomayor, and Maya Angelou. (MTA)

This $45 million apartment might seem expensive, but that was after $70 million of discounts! (6sqft)

The MTA has no problem with subway ads for boner pills, so what’s the deal with Dame Products’ ad ban? Hard to not see this as sexist garbage. (Bedford + Bowery)

The City Council’s new bill that mandates all city school buses be equipped with GPS devices that will give parents real-time information on where their children are at any given moment via an app. During November’s snow storm, some special education children were stuck on a bus for over 10 hours. (Brooklyn Daily Eagle)

Staten Islanders are upset that MTV’s “Made In Staten Island” makes them look like a “cesspool of gangsters and meatheads.” Draw your own conclusions. (Gothamist)

Not all heroes wear capes. Some, like Taylor Mali and his Snatchelator, are just dads from Carroll Gardens who are fed up with plastic bags in trees. (Pardon Me for Asking)

Forget Oreo Squirrel, long live Water Fountain Pigeon!

The Highline Ballroom will close in February after 12 years. (Time Out)

Crown Height’s fake bullet hole bar, Summerhill BK, is closed and is planning a re-brand. (Eater)

The greatest race made for-idiots/by-idiots, the Idiotarod, is scheduled for January 26. Mark your calendars, idiots. (Gothamist)

It takes seven and a half minutes for emergency responders to arrive if you have a heart attack in Manhattan, thanks to a shortage of FDNY paramedics and EMTs. Jersey City’s mayor has an Uber-style solution to cut that time down dramatically. (NY Post)

What makes New York pizza superior to Detroit pizza, Rhode Island pizza, or Chicago pizza? Is it the water? (StreetEasy)

It’s the responsibility of individuals, and not the city, to shovel the sidewalks. Here’s why that’s wrong. (CityLab)

After nearly 50 years, Souen in Soho is closing. (Eater)

A new study shows that NY schools are not safe for LGBTQ children. The Gay and Lesbian Straight Education Network’s study shows that students lack an inclusive curriculum, protective policies and 90% of LGBTQ students face discrimination. (NY Post)

The mayor is not ruling out a run at the presidency. (Politico)

Get ready to kiss plastic bags goodbye. (NY Post)

Chinatown Fair has defied the odds since the 1940s and stands as Manhattan’s last original video arcade. (NY Times)

Get your photo featured or suggest stories for The Briefly by responding to this email or tagging your NYC photos and news on Instagram or Twitter with #thebriefly.